doin' nothin'

when the weather is good, sometimes, all i want to do is to lie on the grass and absorb the fresh air and grin at the sky.



now i know why the angmohs worship the sun so much. and why they have apecial affinities to patches of grass. firstly, coming from the sunny island of singapore, we all take the sun for granted. the sun shines on us all year round, literally (but at least its UV rays aren't as murderous as those in oz...).

and i remember (from the days of running a backpackers' lodge aeons ago) being asked if there was a patch of grass to sit on. this aussie traveller had just come back from a traipse around little india, and told me she got stared at when she had a lie-down on this patch of grass a short distance away from the main road (serangoon road, i assume) to read. it sounded really strange back then. why would anybody want to sit - let alone lie on the grass?! i mean, it's always damp, and pretty much full of creepy crawlies.

that was until i came to melbs. aah. the paradigm had shifted. in summer, people walk barefoot on the street, and just about camp out on bits of turf. maybe it's the going-bush in their blood or summat, but now i think i understand a little more about this lying-on-the-grass business. it's about feeling the earth under your feet, a physical connection - in addition to a very visual one with nature, and appreciating the good earth.

it's a good feeling to have. just to lie back on the grass, stare up into the blue, blue sky, close your eyes, and feel the sun's rays beating down on your face. doesn't get much better than this... unless you couple it with a cold beer, a cookout and the ocean lapping at your feet.

summer is here.

a constant state of becoming

after the presentations for the graduate research weekend, most of us are having a much-deserved zoning-out process. did i say most? i meant all. taking our wine and blank minds, the group of us floated down to a sunny grass patch by the river to soak up the sun and talk. freely. after all, we have - in varying degrees, been ignoring each other during the preparation for the 'conference'. that's what they call it... a conference. ha!

it felt good to squint in the sunlight, feel the grass under our feet and the breeze upon our faces.

this may be a result of many failed attempts to read deleuze (and his buddy, guattari), but i have a sneaky suspicion that i am constantly becoming... becoming something else. looking for change, or a catalyst.

as a 5 year-old, i was under the impression that one could choose one's age during the celebration of the next birthday. having no concept of time, i imagined being 7 years-old on my next birthday, then returning to 4 years of age for the next. sure, i could count, but, what a novel way of going through life if one could choose one's age once every year!

in primary school, much as i enjoyed myself (i could be one of those oddly self-assured kids sometimes), i couldn't wait to become a teenager. to be in secondary school. to join the big girls in the big-girl canteen. as a teacher over at the secondary school, my aunt fetched me and my cousin home everyday. 12 noon marked the end of the day for a primary school kid, so we had to wait for an hour or two for the said aunt each day. i was 8 then -- half in awe of the big girls over at the secondary school, half frightened they might scold me for no particular reason.

in secondary school, i looked forward to going to JC. the boys! the free periods! the choices! the uniforms! the activities! everything appealed to me, though the days spent in secondary school constituted my happiest school-moments. leaving its shelt'ring walls with nary a thought for how much (or little) sense the outside would make, i embarked on the next leg of my journey.

a 17 year-old flunking physics and f-maths, constantly confused about everything, i decided it was infinitely better to be done with the a-levels. the major exam, for me, represented a final border i had to cross in order to regain a semblance of a good life. so i did.

dazed from dismal results, i vowed to make amends. being the disappoint-er of my parents, i constantly looked for ways to prove my worth. i thought: if i can make them see i'm not so stupid, things will get better. so i did, again. and things did get better. i even started to enjoy being the workaholic in arts school.

while working to the point of exhaustion for others, i wished that one day, i'd be able to work for myself. things would be so much better then. i'd answer only to myself. and i'd be accountable only to myself. i'd resigned to make things better. and for awhile, they were.

stuck in a semeingly unending routine of running an establishment, i was, again, on the look-out for the next event that would shake (and shape) my life. planning to return to school and coming to australia represented a kick-start for a continuation of life. it would become another starting point.

finally away from home, parents, and everything familiar, i am looking forward to returning. a becoming-home beckons. the current place is not my home - it cannot be. i am counting down, yet again, the days to my return. i am also counting down til the screening of harry potter and the goblet of fire. have watched the trailer7 times in the past 3 hours. and countless times in the past months. muggle net is a good companion.

i am becoming to feel i have come full circle.

or something like that.

pooh-pooh to academia! i am finally done with my review!

weird-ass toilet

for all the little boys out there who want a glimpse of the little girls' room, here it is!
dazed by the visual overload of PINK!, my pee abated for awhile.
good thing the tampon dispenser was orange, or we'd have missed it completely.
it was too perfect not to take a photo of.
this is at the union house (theatre?) at the uni of melbourne.
talk about gender stereotypes.
wonder if the little boys' room is a room's worth of blinding cyan?

guess what colour the door is?
stay inside for too long, and you'll lose your way to the door, too.

ressurection

wingwong's back!!! he's alright now and back to his loving self. am pleased.
those mac specialists - respect. i'll never call a computer guy a nerd again, ever.
i didn't lose any previous work, and my iTunes playlist is intact.
perhaps i'll be more motivated to back-up my work in future.
still, i never learn.

viva la soleil! :D

because it was such a super freakin' sunny day out for once today, i decided to bring a book out to the balcony to read while soaking up the sun. 40deg Celsius in the sun, my trusty giant thermometer informed me. well, well, well. looks like summer is finally creeping here. and with it, zillions of giant flies. but i'll be back in singas by the time they become more mobile than they currently are, at their maggot-y stage.

couldn't help but smile to myself as i felt the sun's rays beating relentlessly down on my shoulders. i used to be a coffeebean, but now i'm just a fat soybean. being born and bred in the tropics has certainly taken its toll on my tolerance for cold. here, while some are already flaunting their bare arms and legs in the gentle spring warmth, i am still assiduously covering up in 2-3 layers, with the occasional scarf. it gets windy at nights.

i am determined to work my way out of my fat-soybean status. so i sat for about an hour (too much of a good thing is never good) absorbing the long overdue dosage of vitamin D. unfortunately, reference books are a poor choice for reading material when one is out in the sun. a novel, or one of those mindless fashion mags go best with a sit (or a luxurious lie on a deck chair) in the sun.

as the reference book was abandoned within minutes, my idle mind started to space out... and then wander... and it settled on...

this!


and then it became

this!


and then all those childhood memories came flooding back... the hours i'd sneaked playing these games when my grandma went out to run errands (instead of getting my homework done), challenging my best friend to endless bouts of super mario brothers during the school holidays at the chalet, figuring out game cheats together, humming incessantly to an array of mario game tunes (from 1, 2 and 3) because we knew them by heart. just a few weeks ago, before wingwong died, i got maoie to send me some MIDI game music to satisfy the cravings. but my fingers have been seriously aching to play these silly games all over again. wonder where i can get them, and if i'd need to fork out an obscene amount to purchase some machine or console in order to play it.

apparently, super mario bros is available as an online game. after the presentations (on which my life currently depends on) are over, i might give it a go! good weather sure makes me happy!