what to do with a $100 book voucher
the funny thing with getting a book voucher, is that i don't know what to get the moment i step into the bookstore. suddenly, all the books that seemed to entice me before are not so enticing anymore. maybe those books like playing hard-to-get with me. when i had no money, they all screamed for my attention. a friend mentioned sometime ago that it is NOT the love of money that is the root of evil... but the insatiable desire for it when you have none.
and since i wasn't able to find that elusive book to satisfy my intellectual cravings, i went over to the magazine section. picked up this mag. then saw this article on what to do when having a 1 night stand that you do not want to commit to. they were pretty sound suggestions i might add.
1. choose a total stranger
so the chances of you 2 running into each other again is minimised. less awkward that way.
2. do not exchange contact details
to prevent any further calls, or expectations on either part.
3. give yourself a fictitious name
and fabricate a happening story of your life while you're at it. this is really hard to do since i'm a lousy liar. can't do it to save my life.
hi, i'm stacey and i'm waitressing at that little cafe down little bourke street...
boring.
jennifer. i'm a pole dancing instructor...
sounds waaay too slutty. i shy.
i'm elaine. teaching english at college.
am getting images of preppy english teacher-turned-dominatrix in my head.
this is bad. i can't work out an alter ego.
4. do it in a hotel, or at her place
so if the sex is bad, there's always plush furnishing and pay-per-view tv to cushion any disappointment. and if at her place, at least it's not you who has to clean up. most practical tip of all.
5. leave before she wakes
despite wanting to melt into the sheets after all the acrobatics, sharing a coco pops breakfast the morning after while facing the girl you seduced last night will most definitely spoil the magic of the one nighter. so the taxi is always a call away.
i left the bookstore slightly wiser, though without buying anything.
and since i wasn't able to find that elusive book to satisfy my intellectual cravings, i went over to the magazine section. picked up this mag. then saw this article on what to do when having a 1 night stand that you do not want to commit to. they were pretty sound suggestions i might add.
1. choose a total stranger
so the chances of you 2 running into each other again is minimised. less awkward that way.
2. do not exchange contact details
to prevent any further calls, or expectations on either part.
3. give yourself a fictitious name
and fabricate a happening story of your life while you're at it. this is really hard to do since i'm a lousy liar. can't do it to save my life.
hi, i'm stacey and i'm waitressing at that little cafe down little bourke street...
boring.
jennifer. i'm a pole dancing instructor...
sounds waaay too slutty. i shy.
i'm elaine. teaching english at college.
am getting images of preppy english teacher-turned-dominatrix in my head.
this is bad. i can't work out an alter ego.
4. do it in a hotel, or at her place
so if the sex is bad, there's always plush furnishing and pay-per-view tv to cushion any disappointment. and if at her place, at least it's not you who has to clean up. most practical tip of all.
5. leave before she wakes
despite wanting to melt into the sheets after all the acrobatics, sharing a coco pops breakfast the morning after while facing the girl you seduced last night will most definitely spoil the magic of the one nighter. so the taxi is always a call away.
i left the bookstore slightly wiser, though without buying anything.
posted by limegreenspyda at 1:48:00 am
7 Comments:
I understand that feeling about vouchers, not just books, clothes too. When you have it, somehow, the merchandise don't appeal much. Luckily you didn't spend it foolishly.
Re:One night stand? Haha, can't quite comment, have never done it!
I've got a voucher from last Christmas that I haven't spent too. What is it about vouchers? Must be a squirrel syndrome or something that vouchers get hoarded instead of used...especially the ones that have no expiration date.
Ha! No.5..sage advice I would think...
Or else there'd be soo mucch ~awkward~
Oh oh. Replies to comments on my dj are in the comment box now too...just in case you think I've been ignoring you :P
anna: nor have i done it either! just useful to know la. or pretend to know about, especially when it comes to having to fabricate juicy stories about your life when introduced to weirdos!
maoie: haha i know you'll spend an ebay voucher! they should invent those! or airline voucher to japan! oh, i'll go check the dj comment box!
i also had this voucher from Wisma. I couldn't decide what to buy hahaha
Yah, my fren was silly enough to bring the girl home. It was not a one night stand actually. but then he felt bad for sleeping with someone he doesn't like enough and told her they shouldn't be seeing each other so often.. and this girl stalked him.. posted his pics on forums and also his address and school timetable! She described his room too! She was a bunny boiler.. So.. one must never bring the cow home! hehehe
fat fingers: aiyo. i hate stalkers can. that girl must've been very vindictive! but who can blame her... being told by someone she slept with that she wasn't liked enough...
bubble: if i send you that voucher, you'll have to spend more on an air ticket here to use it! hahaha!!! and i'll probably trip over my spiderman suit cuz i can't see properly, thus ending any chances at getting myself ANY action for that night! :D you try la!
a good way is to sell the voucher at say... $80 and u get good hard cash - which u very much need and eliminate the torture of deciding what book to spend on. =D
bubble: aiya! i also want to be ultraman! so i get to make those cool poses! superman also can... so i can fly around. or Neo. that's coooool. i think can only go for halloween party like that la.
pinko: but i want my $100 voucher! i'mm be making a loss for $80 cash!! sigh... decision, decisions.
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