my first time
i was nervous.
my palms were sweaty.
i tried to take deep breaths to reassure myself.
think: it won't hurt you. everything will be alright.
my supervisor smiled at me.
and introduced me to the rest of the 2nd and 3rd and 4th year students.
the hour had come. i resigned myself to my fate and gave the first lecture of my life today, as a guest lecturer in a series of "interior investigations" lunchtime lectures. if not for the $100 book voucher dangled in front of me, i would not have done it. the research and preparation took a full day, but the toll it took on my frazzled nerves told me on no uncertain terms that a life as a lecturer was NOT for me. somehow it felt different from giving the usual presentation to a panel of 4-5 critics... for the first time in my life, i felt at sea with the topic i was [supposedly] most familiar with.
but it was nice to get encouraging nods from the students. of course, there were those who fell asleep too. but at the end of it all, it was most heartwarming to get thanked personally by some of the students! sigh. i don't think i'd ever gone up to any lecturer to thank him/her... must not take lecturers for granted again. i wonder if it was difficult for any of my (previous and current) lecturers to get started on lecturing. there are some people with an innate love for teaching, and i am not one of them. it scares me that what i say/do might seriously fuck some people's minds up. i'm not ready for that kind of responsibility! i mean, my views do not represent what the rest of the world think, and especially with regards to subjective subjects such as design, it is dangerous for a student to implement a project thinking that it would please the lecturer.
as i am a popular girl, it was a busy day for me. i was also invited as a guest critique at one of the undergrad design studios. after years of being at the receiving end of sometimes-constructive criticisms, i was all prepared to be encouraging and receptive to the kids' ideas and thought processes. after 6 hours' worth of listening, digesting, analysing of concepts, we were all literally struggling to keep our attention focused on each of the 4 remaining students. i seriously had to dig deep within myself for something intelligent to say (cannot sia suay myself) and suggest to respond to each concept.
i have been at both ends of the spectrum within the space of a day: the critic who got critiqued.
remind me to thank the lecturers in my past and present who have shared their passion, knowledge and concepts with me. you have been under-appreciated for too long.
my palms were sweaty.
i tried to take deep breaths to reassure myself.
think: it won't hurt you. everything will be alright.
my supervisor smiled at me.
and introduced me to the rest of the 2nd and 3rd and 4th year students.
the hour had come. i resigned myself to my fate and gave the first lecture of my life today, as a guest lecturer in a series of "interior investigations" lunchtime lectures. if not for the $100 book voucher dangled in front of me, i would not have done it. the research and preparation took a full day, but the toll it took on my frazzled nerves told me on no uncertain terms that a life as a lecturer was NOT for me. somehow it felt different from giving the usual presentation to a panel of 4-5 critics... for the first time in my life, i felt at sea with the topic i was [supposedly] most familiar with.
but it was nice to get encouraging nods from the students. of course, there were those who fell asleep too. but at the end of it all, it was most heartwarming to get thanked personally by some of the students! sigh. i don't think i'd ever gone up to any lecturer to thank him/her... must not take lecturers for granted again. i wonder if it was difficult for any of my (previous and current) lecturers to get started on lecturing. there are some people with an innate love for teaching, and i am not one of them. it scares me that what i say/do might seriously fuck some people's minds up. i'm not ready for that kind of responsibility! i mean, my views do not represent what the rest of the world think, and especially with regards to subjective subjects such as design, it is dangerous for a student to implement a project thinking that it would please the lecturer.
as i am a popular girl, it was a busy day for me. i was also invited as a guest critique at one of the undergrad design studios. after years of being at the receiving end of sometimes-constructive criticisms, i was all prepared to be encouraging and receptive to the kids' ideas and thought processes. after 6 hours' worth of listening, digesting, analysing of concepts, we were all literally struggling to keep our attention focused on each of the 4 remaining students. i seriously had to dig deep within myself for something intelligent to say (cannot sia suay myself) and suggest to respond to each concept.
i have been at both ends of the spectrum within the space of a day: the critic who got critiqued.
remind me to thank the lecturers in my past and present who have shared their passion, knowledge and concepts with me. you have been under-appreciated for too long.
posted by limegreenspyda at 1:04:00 am
10 Comments:
You're cool girl! I would be a blob of jelly if I were in your shoes.
anna: i was a blob of jelly in my own shoes!! heh! but seriously, i was not cool at all. i was freaking out in a major way :) nothing like a little excitement in life, eh?
Wah! Very impressive!
ah hock: thanks! :) it's not something i'd have done without the bait of the book voucher, though.
maoie: nerve-wracking (wrecking?) and i'm glad it's over! lecturing is horrible hard work, man! how're your essays/readings coming along?
I'm so impressed!! Lecturing?!?!
Wah you are so cool! i can never do that!
i remembered once i presented my group project in front of the whole lecture group.. i was so nervous!
It was about ASAHI Beer!so i brought a can to the presentation and showed everyone hahaha
I almost wanted to gulp down that can of beer to calm my nerves!
LMD: it was only 1 lecture, thankfully! can't tahan any more than that! had a very bad case of butterflies in my stomach that day... even my usually work-oriented supervisor could tell i was a bundle of nerves! dunno how some ppl can be lecturers for good!
fat fingers: wah what kind of presentation about beer??! i'd LOVE to do a presentation someday about alcohol! yummm... eh, did you choose asahi coz it's got something to do with your beloved japan? :)
It was a project on Japanese Organisation and one of the case study was on Asahi haha. Asahi is one of my fav. beer! I try not to drink too much beer now. Beer is liquid bread.. it makes me fat. hahaha
fat fingers: wahahahah!!!! funny way of saying that! never thought of beer as liquid bread! (oh! it rhymed!) i only like asahi with BBQ chicken wings! other times, i like tsingtao! haha, very uncle-fied! i'd love to do case studies on japan-related stuff! eh. how were your egg tarts? :)
The Boyfriend loves Tsingtao too! It's funny to see an ang moh drink tsingtao! hahaha
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