gong xi fa cai!

it's an odd feeling to be the only member of my immediate family back in sunny singapore for chinese new year. visiting friends is fine, but visiting the rellies can get slightly daunting.

as a kid, morbid though this is, i used to imagine what would happen if my whole family got killed in a plane crash - the immediate consequences as well as the emotional aftermath i'd have to deal with. somehow, the thought of being alone among the relatives ranks pretty close to feeling orphaned. it dawns on me just how much i've taken my parents for granted. being able to hide in the shadow of their conversation with the 'aunties and uncles', the importance of my presence has traditionally been relegated to questions of school/work.

this year, visiting them alone, or playing the host for visits from my grandpa's old friends, i feel like an individual. with my own feet to stand on, and my part to play in contributing to the 'entertaining' of the guests. perhaps it's all part of the growing-up process.