'tis the season for red-and-whites

for those brought up in cosy little neighbourhood schools in Singapore (myself included), we have been indoctrinated with a sense of national pride as National Day arrives. we are given a uniform-free day to dress up in another kind of uniform: that of red-tops and white-bottoms. it's a wonder why we did not confuse ourselves with the indonesian flag, without the crescent and the 5 white stars. somehow, i've always noticed the red pentagon in the negative space contained by the stars... but i digress. national day was rather akin to Christmas, where one would get warm fuzzy feelings for our nation-state. embroidered or printed with the words 'National Day' (insert year and name of school), gifts for students included practical memorabilia such as files, waistpouches, towels and caps. there would be unity within the student body as we belted out Count on me, Singapore, Stand Up for Singapore, One People One Nation One Singapore and even the Tamil song Muneiru Valiba. such nation-loving propaganda for fellow Singaporeans. no wonder we were single-minded about our National flag despite our attire lacking the requisite moon-and-stars combo.

as i grew older in secondary school, as with any uniformed group, participating in the National Day Parade became a much anticipated rite of passage. being chosen for the GOH (Guard of Honour) contingent for school celebratios was a feather in a cap to any power-hungry, acceptance-yearning 15 year old. being asked to march for the National Day Parade live! in front of the crowd! with tv-cameras! was considered an honour. it was many a kid's dream, sitting in front of the tv at home, to be able to represent the country on the big field of the Padang or the National Stadium.

drill training for the event in August started as early as April/May. 2 months of intensive extra drilling besides what we'd already received during the regular ones at respective schools. it was through these sessions that we got to mix with the troops from other companies. in July, there would be weekly dry-runs at various air fields before proceeding to the real deal at the Padang. i remember standing at senang diri (ie. at ease) for nearly half an hour - it seemed like hours then - before we were given the command to move off to the field. and the horror at having to use the male toilets as female ones were somehow unavailable. the Khong Guan biscuit rations and Kentucky Fried Chicken snackboxes we were given every week to help sustain us for nearly 2 hours' worth of alternating sedias and senang diris as dignitaries, cabinet ministers, the prime minister and finally, the president arrived. and the multi-lingual songs that followed!

it was inevitable that a few people would faint from the heat or fatigue. witnessing it was a shock, and as the medics rushed over, i used to pray fervently that this embarrassing incident never happened to me. the shock was worse if the pale person laying dazedly on the ground was a friend. it's like watching someone you know dying.

there was a point in my life i wished i could be part of the Colour Party, for carrying the flags bearing the National emblems seemed the coolest thing to do. i remember too, wishing one day i'd be great enough to be the Parade Commander (and i loved that mobile network coverage tv-advertisement that aired as National Day grew closer, featuring the Parade Commander practicing his commands in the Stadium, and a lower-ranked officer giving him a call from somewhere outside the Stadium, telling him he could be heard loud and clear). but i think they only ever choose guys to perform those duties. so for me, those are lost causes.

on the eve of National Day, the prime minister would deliver his national day rally. only until its significance dawned upon me (when i needed to amass as much general/world knowledge for General Paper) in Junior College did i not dismiss it as a lot of political waffle. it was something i associated with my dad, who would insist on listening to the 'boring old talk'. i particularly like how a lecturer described it: a goodie bag for Singaporeans.

while the flatmate has joined the Singapore Association at her Uni for tonight's viewing of NDP '05 (i understand it's the 40th, so there is even more reason than usual for nation-loving fanfare), i am at home. while i am labelled atas (ie. high class) by her for refusing to join in the festivities, i still believe the pride i have as a citizen does not have to be worn on my sleeve.

can't i be quietly proud of the case-study nation-state singlehandedly brought about by the iron will of mr Lee Kwan Yew and his fellow cabinet ministers? i certainly cannot find a place like home anywhere else in the world.

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edited to add:

i just found out about mr brown's new onesingaporeminute meme. that sure makes me miss singapore a lot more than just watching the NDP.

these familiar shots give me a sense of intimacy with the island-state i acknowledge as 'home'.